September 29, 2023


Business Woman

Our Favorite (And Hilarious) Princess Bride Quotes That Prove Its Cult Movie Status

6 min read
Photo credit: MGM

Photo credit: MGM

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It’s hard to forget the first time you saw a movie like Princess Bride. My first time seeing it was the night my dad and two aunts took my sister and I to a theater where it was easy to sneak into other theaters and see multiple movies. Morals aside, it was thrilling as young kid to get to see both Princess Bride and Dirty Dancing in one night—twice! Whether it was at a sleepover, youth group lock-in, or at one of the countless summer outdoor showings that happen every year, we haven’t been the same since we heard those three magical words tumble down the massive hill in Gilder, “AS YOU WISH!”

Directed by Rob Reiner (of Spinal Tap and When Harry Met Sally fame), Princess Bride and its mix of satire, adventure, and fantasy have kept us coming back for years, firmly placing it in the status of cult movie classic. We’ve gathered up some of our favorite lines to prove just that point. Besides convincing you that it’s one of the greatest movies ever, we also think they make the perfect addition to a family movie night (you can stream Princess Bride on Hulu or Disney+). Print out your favorites and be ready to say your favorite lines as they come on screen. Everyone gets to be their favorite character for the night. One our family’s favorites, “Have fun storming the castle!” is the perfect thing to say to someone heading out the door. Or even better, share your favorite quote with your best movie-watching partner in crime in a fun movie night care package complete with popcorn, favorite treats, and a copy of the movie. If you are looking for other great movies from the eighties, check out our list of the 25 Best 80s Movies You Gotta See.

Photo credit: MGM

Photo credit: MGM

“As you wish!” – Westley

Grandson: “Hold it, Hold it. Are you trying to trick me? Where’s the sports? Is this a kissing book?”
“Wait. Just wait.”
“When does it get good?”
Grandpa: “Keep your shirt on.”

“I will never love again.” – Buttercup

“My people, the Princess Buttercup!!” – Prince Humperdinck

“Am I going mad or did the word ‘think’ escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass!” – Vizzini

“And you! Friendless. Brainless. Helpless! Hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In Greenland!” – Vizzini

Inigo Montoya: “That Vizzini, he can fuss.”
“Fuss, fuss. I think he like to scream at us.”
“Probably he means no harm.”
“He’s really really short on charm!”
“You have a great gift for rhyme.”
“Yes. Yes. Some other time.”

“Anybody want a peanut?” – Fezzik

“Inconceivable!” – Vizzini

“I only dog paddle.” – Fezzik

“I wonder if he’s using the same wind we are using?” – Montoya

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” – Montoya

“People in masks cannot be trusted.” – Fezzik

Montoya: “I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?”
Man in Black:
“Do you always begin conversations this way?”

Photo credit: MGM

Photo credit: MGM

“I will go up to the six fingered man and say, ‘Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die.’” – Montoya

“My way’s not very sportsman-like.” – Fezzik

“I don’t even exercise.” – Fezzik

“I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But in the meantime, rest well and dream of large women.” – Man in Black (Westley)

Vizzini: “Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?”
Man in Black:

“Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ahahahahahaha!” – Vizzini

Princess Buttercup: “There’s no greater hunter than Prince Humperdinck. He can track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you.”
Man in Black: “You think your dearest love will save you?”
Princess Buttercup:
“I never said he was my dearest love, and yes, he will save me. That I know.”

“I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could every dream.” – Princess Buttercup

Man in Black: “I mean, once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it’s nothing but work, work, work all the time.”
“You mock my pain!”
Man in Black: “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

“You mocked me once. Never do it again! I died that day!” – Princess Buttercup

“Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” – Westley

Grandson: “They’re kissing again. Do we have to hear the kissing part?”
“Someday, you may not mind so much.”
Grandson: “Skip on to the Fire Swamp. That sounded good.”
Grandpa: “You’re sick. I’ll humor you.”

Buttercup: “We’ll never survive!”
“Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”

“It’s not that bad. I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.” – Westley (about the Fire Swamp)

“Hold it. Hold it, Grandpa. You read that wrong. She doesn’t marry Humperdinck. She marries Westley. I’m just sure of it. After all that Westley did for her, if she didn’t marry him, it wouldn’t be fair.” – Grandson

“So bow down to her if you want, bow to her. Bow to the queen of slime, the queen of filth, the queen of putrescence! Boo! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo! Boo! – The Ancient Booer

Photo credit: MGM

Photo credit: MGM

“Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I’m swamped.” – Prince Humperdinck

“I would not say such things if I were you!” – Prince Humperdinck

“The King’s stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you’re at it, why don’t you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We’re closed!” – Miracle Max

Miracle Max: “Beat it or I’ll call the Brute Squad!”
“I’m on the Brute Squad.”
Miracle Max:
“You are the Brute Squad.”

“Don’t rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle, maybe you get rotten miracles.” – Miracle Max

Miracle Max: “Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice M.L.T. A mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich when the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky. I love that. But that’s not what he said. He distinctly said, ‘To blave.’ And as we all know, ‘to blave’ means ‘to bluff.’ So, you’re probably playing cards and he cheated…”
Valerie: “Liar! Liar! Liaaaaar!”
Miracle Max: “Get back, witch!”
“I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!”

“What, Humperdinck? Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!” – Valerie

“Chocolate coating makes it go down easier.” – Valerie

“Have fun storming the castle.” – Miracle Max

“I’ve always been a quick healer.” – Westley

“Don’t pester him, he’s had a hard day.” – Fezzik

“Mawwwage. Mawwage is what brings us to today. Marriage, that blessed arrangement. That dream, within a dream!” – The Impressive Clergyman

The Impressive Clergyman: “Then loooove. Truuuue lovvee, will follow you forever. So treasure your love…”
Prince Humperdinck:
“Skip to the end!”

Westley: “No! To the pain.”
Prince Humperdinck:
“I don’t think I’m quite familiar with that phrase.”
Westley: “I’ll explain. And I’ll use small words, so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon.”
Prince Humperdinck: “That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
It won’t be the last.”

“It is conceivable, you miserable vomitous mass, that I’m only lying here because I lack the strength to stand.” – Westley

“Drop your sword.” – Westley

Inigo Montoya: “You know, it’s very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it’s over, I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”
Westley: “Have you ever considered piracy? You’d make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.”

“Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure, this one left them all behind. The end.” – Grandpa

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